Dear Devin </3

Wrote Devin a letter but I don’t think I’m actually gonna send it so I’m just gonna post it on here.

Devin, 

I don’t even really know why I’m writing this letter or if I’ll actually send it to you but there’s just some things I need to get off my chest. I wanted to say this in person before you left on your deployment but you blew me off so this will do. 

I don’t get what happened Devin. I know you said that ‘something was missing in our relationship’ and ‘we talked about the same thing everyday’ but honestly I think those were bullshit excuses/reasons. HOURS before you broke up with me you made a comment about how you care about me so much that you were coming home early for me. But then next thing I know you wanted to talk and bam we were over. 

Was I not enough? Was I not worth it? I told myself I was gonna stop wondering and stop blaming myself but I can’t. It just doesn’t make sense. I know the long distance was hard but I thought you were worth it and that was enough for me. I thought you felt the same way. Guess I was wrong. I thought you were different than the rest. You treated me better than any other guy has. You made me feel special, you made me happy, you made me feel good enough, and you made me believe that you meant everything you said. Guess I was wrong about that too. 

Is this break-up even affecting you? I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with this upcoming deployment but I feel like it/I was just a burden you needed to get off your shoulder and once you did you were done with it/me. Especially with how you reacted to me wanting to see you before you left. You have no idea how much it took for me to text you and ask if I could see you. Why did you blow me off? If it wasn’t for your sister I wouldn’t have even known you were home. Did I not deserve to know or to see you? 

Even after all that’s happened, I miss you Devin. I miss your hugs. I miss the way it felt to be in your arms (even if they were squishing me). I miss how it felt when you would say you missed me or couldn’t wait to see me. I miss how you’d make me laugh when you were blurting out the lyrics to a song. I miss how comfortable I was with you. I miss how you used to make me feel better about myself. I even miss your super cockiness and your love of zombies (only a little though). I just miss everything about you, Devin. 

I keep thinking this is a dream and one of these days I’m gonna wake up and you’ll still be mine and will be coming home to me soon. But I know better. Deployment or not I just wish this wasn’t the ending for us. I never in a million years thought this would be the way we ended but I know I can’t force you to be with me if it’s not what you want. Just know that even though we’re not together anymore, you still mean a lot to me and you’ll be on my mind a lot when you’re in Afghanistan. I’ll be hoping and praying that you make it back home safely. 

Maybe when you get back home we’ll be friends again, but for now this is goodbye. Don’t forget about me, Devin.

<3,
Megan  

The Best 5 Days :)

Its crazy how 5 days of doing pretty much nothing other than watching movies, eating, driving around, and just hanging out can so easily make up for the 2 months apart. I know that I’m gonna go back home and everybody is gonna be like ‘Where’d you go? What’d you guys do?’ and when I tell them what we did some of them might think I wasted my time here. But I don’t think I did. I didn’t come to Cali to visit the state, I came here to visit HIM. He’s the reason I’m here and he’s the reason I’m happy being here doing nothing. We’ve been confined to squish and sleep on a twin bed, have been stick in his room in the Barracks because he has to work later, haven’t had sex cuz I’ve been on my period, and I’ve been forced to watch some movies that aren’t exactly my cup of tea, but honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. The only thing I’d change is the fact that come tomorrow night I have to leave. :( (Oh and I’d probably change the whole being on my period thing.. It’s been reallllly hard to not have sex. Lol). All in all though, this has been one of my favorite vacations and was definitely a needed one. I missed my Marine.

8 DAYS!

JUST 8 days till I see my babe. <3 Everything about the trip is falling into place perfectly. I officially will have all the days off from work that I need without it being a problem at all. We have a place to stay while I’m there. He’s making plans, even possible planning something special for me that he wants to surprise me with, I’m making my packing list- everything is just perfect. I can’t wait to see him, to hug him, to be in his arms again. His touch, his smell, his smile- the things I miss most will all be close to me in only 8 days! :D Now all I can hope is that my time out there goes by slowly instead of fast. 

I’m sooo happy! <3

30 Day Long Distance Relationship Challenge- Day 7

How do you communicate?

Right now just through texting and phone calls, but soon we’ll be Skyping too. 

Lucas returns to One Tree Hill next week?! soo freaking excited!!